green light.

I remember the first time I read 'The Great Gatsby' from Fitzgerald. Actually, I’ve been trying to write about Gatsby for the past 3 years and it’s been quite complicated to do so. However, here is my attempt.

The book describes a man called Jay Gatsby, who could die for passion, and who holds to a scenario that was never going to be real. I was overthrown by Fitzgerald’s words, and the description of a man’s fight with the depths of his soul to conquer a woman again. From that moment, the character became a phenomenon to understand how willing we are to pursue someone or our purpose in life.

I suffocate with emotions when I talk about the book with someone. Gatsby’s story needs to be discussed with all the feelings, with passion, like himself. We can dance, we can laugh, we can do everything, but I strongly doubt that we can love like Gatsby. In my opinion, the reason I get so emotional when talking about it is that he knew his purpose and we spend a lifetime to know ours.

Gatsby found his meaning on sticking to a green light, an endless hope that could cure him. He thinks it's love. He thinks it's Daisy. He dies thinking that he could be saved from his demons with a light that was sparkling on the other side of the bay. After reading it, I successfully fail to understand ‘why’ he does this. Actually, as time goes by, my questions arise and I remain calm watching them unanswered. Do we need to have answers for everything?

We hold on to a reality and we prefer to destroy ourselves with an emotion. We become comfortable with that feeling and we deny that it will eventually consume us.

We will eventually be back to the past. But, at least, we know that our senses were defied and passion, good or bad, will not be more than a biological habit.

We will continue to read books, searching for men like Gatsby who are not afraid to fight for their emotions, dying with no short notice that he was already lifeless inside from the moment he lost Daisy. However, he kept on going through the most outrageous parties, fireworks, alcohol, drugs.

The only answer we have is that we will continue to hold to a green light, a light that represents the most destructive feeling a human can have: hope.

Catarina João Vieira